#114
Perhaps due to the weather, the simple message seemed a bit touching. Every time he saw these seemingly devoted actions, it felt like a needle was pricking a corner of his heart. Ha-min hesitated for a moment before moving his fingers.
[Thank you.]
He sent an embarrassed smiling emoticon and then locked the screen. It felt peaceful, but he didn’t know how long this peace would last. This precarious relationship felt like it had been forcibly placed in his hands. He liked hyung. That fact never changed for Ha-min.
But the fact that hyung liked him – weren’t those emotions that could change at any time? He might turn away with a smile again at any moment. Would he really be okay then? If he had broken down once, wouldn’t it be just as difficult a second time? The situations where he had to take two steps forward to move one step ahead felt overwhelming.
Nevertheless, the reason he accepted his proposal was because it seemed like the dream he had longed for was actually happening. No, he hadn’t even dared to dream it. He thought it would be harder than reaching for the stars for hyung to like him. Hyung was someone who easily broke up with his long-term girlfriend, so Ha-min thought there was no way he would get serious with him, a man.
The more Ha-min thought about it, the more complicated his thoughts became, and he clutched his head. He even pulled at his hair, messing it up. What made him feel the most pathetic was that until recently, he had been trying to sort things out cleanly, but the fact was that even that short time they spent together had been good.
“…I’m so spineless.”
Ha-min muttered, burying his face in the counter. Just then, at the sound of the bell ringing, Ha-min hurriedly got up.
“W-welcome.”
As he bowed his head to the air in greeting, a familiar figure appeared.
“Hyung.”
He was soaked through as if he didn’t have an umbrella in the rain. He was too big to be called a drowned rat, but he looked just as pitiful.
“Hee-gyeom, why are you…”
Ha-min was startled and quickly came out from behind the counter.
“Ah, I left my umbrella behind. I stopped by briefly to buy an umbrella and see you, hyung.”
Hee-gyeom said with a broad smile, as if it was nothing.
“No, still… We should dry you off.”
Ha-min rummaged through his bag and found a handkerchief, which he held out to Hee-gyeom.
“Thank you.”
Hee-gyeom smiled brightly and wiped his wet face with the handkerchief.
“You’ll catch a cold if you go around like that.”
When Ha-min spoke in a worried tone, Hee-gyeom just kept smiling carelessly.
“It’s nice that you’re worried about me.”
“…”
“I had a drink nearby with my classmates.”
As Ha-min hesitated and held back his words, Hee-gyeom smoothly changed the subject.
“Did you drink a lot?”
“No. Just one beer.”
Wondering if he was drunk like last time, Ha-min asked, but Hee-gyeom shook his head.
“You should have asked your friends to take you home.”
“I left early by myself.”
“Leaving the others behind?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
When Ha-min looked at him quizzically upon hearing he had left early, Hee-gyeom hesitated for a moment before continuing.
“I just thought of you working nearby, hyung.”
“Huh?”
“How much is an umbrella?”
Before Ha-min could feel awkward, Hee-gyeom changed the subject. Ha-min turned his gaze with a slightly dazed expression and picked up an umbrella for sale.
“I’ll buy the umbrella for you. Go home quickly. You’ll really catch a cold if you go around like that.”
Ha-min warned him again as he handed him the umbrella. He could say this because he had been soaked in the rain recently and was sick for over a day.
“No, I’ll buy it myself, hyung.”
Hee-gyeom shook his head saying no, but Ha-min unusually firmly shook his head. Hee-gyeom hesitated with an awkward expression, then suddenly went to the display stand and picked up a chocolate milk.
“Then please ring this up.”
Suddenly thirsty? Ha-min nodded and went back behind the counter. As he scanned the barcode, Hee-gyeom handed over his card as if he had been waiting.
“Did you like chocolate milk?”
“No.”
Hee-gyeom smiled and shook his head. He had looked unwell until recently, but today he was smiling broadly and seemed bright like before. So Ha-min felt a bit relieved and could treat him a little more comfortably.
“Here’s your card.”
Ha-min finished the transaction and handed the card back, and Hee-gyeom took the card while sliding the milk towards Ha-min.
“You like sweet things, don’t you, hyung?”
“Ah…”
“It’s thanks for the umbrella… you know.”
“Yeah, thanks. I’ll enjoy it.”
Ha-min smiled faintly at his awkward manner. It made him laugh because he was thinking just like a boy his age. That’s when it happened.
“Hyung.”
At the call in a much lower voice, Ha-min looked up at Hee-gyeom.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable before.”
“…”
“I came to say… that I won’t do it again.”
“…”
“I’m sorry, hyung.”
As soon as he heard those words, Ha-min looked bewildered. For a moment, he wondered if he had shown his discomfort so obviously, and at the same time, he felt sorry. Seeing Hee-gyeom forcing a smile and apologizing as if nothing was wrong made Ha-min feel even more sorry, and it didn’t sit well with him.
“Hee-gyeom.”
But he couldn’t find the words to say. It felt hypocritical to say it was okay, and it pricked his conscience to pretend not to know what he was talking about.
“I thought about it for a few days… and I realized I wouldn’t like it either if someone suddenly did that to me.”
“…”
“Doing that to someone who doesn’t have feelings for you… even if that’s not your intention, it’s probably a burden on the other person.”
Hee-gyeom’s face, which had been smiling as if even saying this was embarrassing, suddenly hardened. But he didn’t stop smiling until the end and looked straight at Ha-min with an even more serious gaze.
“I hope things go well… with the person you like, hyung.”
Ah… As soon as he heard those words, Ha-min remembered what he had said under the pretext of a group date. Had that been hurtful? His voice saying he hoped things would go well sounded more pitiful than his rain-soaked appearance. Ha-min finally realized he had done something thoughtless and couldn’t look at Hee-gyeom, stumbling over his words.
“…I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for, hyung?”
“…”
“Don’t say things like that.”
Ha-min felt very ashamed for dismissing Hee-gyeom’s feelings as shallow sympathy, light curiosity, and wavering when he apologized with such an expression.
Ha-min felt embarrassed. He couldn’t lift his face, feeling that Hee-gyeom, who was several years younger, seemed more mature than him. Seeing him smile as if everything was fine made Ha-min’s heart ache even more, and not knowing what to do, his head lowered involuntarily.
“I’ll be going now.”
Hee-gyeom opened the umbrella he had bought. Ha-min hesitated as if he had something to say while seeing him off to the door. When Hee-gyeom looked at him kindly as if asking why, Ha-min hesitated before speaking.
“I’m sorry…”
Ha-min bowed his head, looking at a loss.
“I told you, hyung has nothing to be sorry for.”
“…”
“Don’t be like that.”
Hee-gyeom looked pained for a moment as he watched Ha-min apologizing.
“Let’s be like we were before.”
“…”
“I like it best when you treat me comfortably, hyung.”
Hee-gyeom smiled bitterly and took a couple of steps outside with his umbrella.
“I’m leaving now, so go back inside, hyung.”
Ha-min stood silently at the door, waving as he watched Hee-gyeom walk away.
Ha-min watched until he disappeared from sight, then finally tore his gaze away and turned around. Just as his unsettled feelings were turning gloomy, he turned his body slightly and his eyes met exactly with someone standing like a statue. He had parked his car right behind and was standing there with an umbrella, as if he had been watching this way the whole time. As soon as Ha-min saw him, he realized he had completely forgotten that he was coming to pick him up.
“Ah…”
Has it already become that time?
Ha-min gestured to him, who was standing a little distance away, to wait a moment, and returned to the counter. Then the next shift came in. Ha-min quickly greeted the next shift, telling them to take care, and gathered his things to leave. By then, he had already reached the door and tilted his umbrella towards Ha-min. Ha-min, realizing this was an invitation to come under the umbrella, quickly hunched down and stood beside him.
“You came… right on time.”
Normally, he would have said something like “Good work” or “Was it tough?” but today he was strangely quiet. He just calmly looked down at Ha-min and tilted the umbrella more towards him. This caused his opposite shoulder to get wet instantly, and Ha-min quickly moved the tilted umbrella back to its original position.
“Your shoulder is getting wet, hyung.”
“It’s fine.”
He spoke calmly as if it was nothing and wrapped his arm around Ha-min’s opposite shoulder. For a moment, Ha-min’s shoulders tensed at the touch of body heat. But the brief contact didn’t last long as they got into the car after just a few steps. It was embarrassing how aware he was of even such minor contact.
“Are you cold?”
After seating Ha-min in the passenger seat and getting into the driver’s seat, he looked at the slightly stiff Ha-min and asked. Ha-min shook his head. Only then did he start the engine.
“I’ll start driving.”
“Okay.”
“Seatbelt.”
“Huh?”
When Ha-min, lost in thought, didn’t hear well and asked back with a confused face, he who had been watching quietly suddenly leaned over. Ha-min’s eyes wavered aimlessly at his sudden approach, so close that for a moment he thought their lips might touch. Just as his breath caught in his throat at the close distance, there was a dull click as the seatbelt locked into place.
“…”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
