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Sweet Shot – Chapter 116

#116

Ha-min, who had tossed and turned all night due to unfamiliar feelings, stared blankly at the ceiling, unable to get up as the sunlight through the window brightened. He was confused by the hostile emotions and sensitivities he had always found uncomfortable, which now felt more honest than ever before. Ironically, these primal emotions resonated more deeply than the words professing love.

He never thought Tae-rim would be jealous of Hee-gyeom. Well, he had a slight suspicion, but that expectation was always blocked by Tae-rim’s cold nature. Now he was starting to understand a little. Even hyung, whom he thought knew and was skilled at everything, had things he found difficult. Crude emotions like jealousy must have felt unfamiliar and unsuitable for him.

Ha-min slowly got up and habitually checked his phone first. There was a missed call from his mom and a message asking him to call when he had time. And there were hundreds of unread messages in the always active group chat with his friends. He hadn’t had time to check yesterday because he was too preoccupied.

He headed to the bathroom to wash away his complicated thoughts. Perhaps due to his stuffy feelings, Ha-min finished showering with cold water and went to the kitchen with his hair still wet, downing a glass of water in one go. Even pouring all sorts of cold things into himself didn’t clear his stuffy head or stomach.

“You’re wet.”

While he was standing there after putting down the cup, fingers brushed the nape of his neck, wiping away the moisture. Startled by the sudden presence, Ha-min turned around with surprised eyes to see Tae-rim in comfortable clothes wearing thin gold-rimmed glasses. He was even more surprised because he hadn’t expected Tae-rim to be awake at such an early hour.

“You startled me…”

Ha-min mumbled like a child caught doing something wrong. Tae-rim let out a faint laugh and suddenly said “Come here,” gently pulling Ha-min. Ha-min followed him obediently in a daze.

The place Tae-rim took him to was a vanity-like area next to his dressing room. A large mirror and the shelf below it were neatly arranged with dozens of perfume bottles and skincare products. A subtle mix of his skin lotion and perfume scents lingered in the air.

“You’ll catch a cold if you stay with your hair wet like that.”

He sat Ha-min down and took out a hair dryer from the drawer to dry his hair. It was a very natural flow and touch. The gentle drying with a quiet hair dryer was skillful and soft. Despite the naturalness of his fingers running through his hair, Ha-min unconsciously curled and uncurled his toes, feeling a tingling sensation.

“I can dry it myself.”

Ha-min said with an awkward smile, looking at Tae-rim in the mirror. Tae-rim replied in a calm voice.

“I want to do it for you.”

For some reason, he felt even more aware. Was it because of Tae-rim’s warmth that he had felt after such a long time yesterday? Every touch of Tae-rim’s hands on him felt stimulating. Ha-min sat with his back straight, fiddling with his knees nervously with an awkward expression.

“Why did you wake up so early?”

In the strangely tense atmosphere, Tae-rim gently led the conversation.

“Well… it just happened.”

Unable to say “because of you, hyung,” Ha-min vaguely deflected.

“You don’t have classes in the morning, you should have slept more.”

“You should have slept more too, hyung.”

“I don’t usually need much sleep.”

“Ah…”

It was a normal conversation, and he thought it was relatively natural, when suddenly:

“I’m sorry about yesterday.”

Ha-min looked up at him with surprised eyes at the abrupt apology.

“I think I pushed you again with my temper.”

He turned off the hair dryer and added as the surroundings quieted. Ha-min found it unfamiliar again. The feeling of this apology resonating deeply felt unfamiliar.

“I’m trying not to, but it’s not easy.”

He spoke as if muttering to himself, even letting out a self-deprecating laugh that didn’t suit him. Even a sigh mixed with lamentation could be heard.

“It’s strange to me too, getting upset over things like this.”

The words he uttered hesitantly and awkwardly had no trace of humor or playfulness. Once again, it felt strange. As if being consumed by his emotions that were gradually touching him, Ha-min looked at his face and voiced the words he had been holding in his mouth all night.

“…Were you jealous?”

It was a question that came out without him realizing. It seemed okay to ask now. No, it felt like they should slowly face it now. All this time, he had swallowed his feelings and lied to smooth over situations. The thought that they had taken a long detour because of those things had been on his mind all night.

His voice trembled with nervousness as he asked the question. His gaze on Tae-rim was the same. Tae-rim now knew how difficult and hard it was for Ha-min to ask this simple question. Tae-rim didn’t avoid his gaze.

“Yeah.”

At the heavy one-word answer, Ha-min’s pupils trembled aimlessly.

“He keeps touching you.”

“That’s…”

“…And you seem comfortable around him.”

Ha-min was at a loss for words at his voice that conveyed his helplessness so clearly. It felt like he was facing Tae-rim’s emotions for the first time. His feelings, which had seemed vague before, now stabbed at him more heavily than ever.

“Moreover.”

“…”

“He already knew things about you that I didn’t.”

“Hee-gyeom also found out by chance…”

“I know. Because you told me.”

He cut off Ha-min’s hurried explanation. It was a kind voice saying that no further explanation was necessary.

“That fact drove me crazy.”

“…”

“Whatever the reason, I was stupid.”

“I’m the one who didn’t tell you…”

“You probably couldn’t tell me.”

“…”

“I probably made it that way.”

He suddenly knelt in front of Ha-min and grasped his hands, his voice tinged with regret.

“That’s what’s pathetic.”

His face showed none of his usual composure or arrogance. There was no playfulness or humor, and his sincere gaze and voice made Ha-min’s heart ache.

“Don’t do this. Get up.”

Ha-min pulled on his arm as he sat holding his hands as if in penitence, but he stubbornly didn’t move. Ha-min felt upset that he was asking for forgiveness in this situation.

“It’s not your fault, hyung. I hid it. I… was ashamed.”

He gently took Ha-min’s trembling hands and pulled them towards himself. Then he bowed his head and carefully kissed the back of Ha-min’s hand, caressing his empty wrist. His gaze intensified as he touched not only the self-harm scars but also the burn marks left by cigarettes. Ha-min tried to pull his arm away, embarrassed by the obviously visible scars, but Tae-rim wouldn’t let go easily.

“…Who did this to you?”

His suppressed voice came calmly, as if trying hard to swallow his anger. Blood vessels rose on his smooth neck that had been calm before. Ha-min hesitated with his head bowed. He found it difficult to answer because he thought it would just be a pathetic story.

“It must have hurt.”

But he didn’t rush, muttering in a low voice as if talking to himself.

The burn marks were not just one or two. They were left by those people as a “memento” on graduation day. The smell of burning skin and the sound of skin being pierced were still vivid. And they really remained like a memento. As if to remind him not to forget his situation of being bullied. But he wanted to overcome it. Although scars and wounds remained, there were more days to live ahead. He had to move forward because there were family members who would be hurt if he didn’t.

“When did this happen?”

He asked as calmly as possible, but Ha-min could see the anger flickering in his eyes. Ha-min hesitated for a long time before slowly opening his mouth.

“…On graduation day.”

“How long had they been bullying you?”

At the question asked step by step, Ha-min felt a bit like a child. It felt like tattling to a reliable guardian.

“Since… first year.”

His jaw clenched even more. He turned his head for a moment, gritting his teeth and exhaling strongly through his nose to suppress his anger.

“You endured it for three years?”

The word “endured” felt grandiose to Ha-min, so he just nodded awkwardly with an awkward smile.

“What else?”

“Huh?”

“Besides burning you with cigarettes, how else did they bully you?”

The light in his eyes grew increasingly intense. Ha-min could feel his anger and instead tightly grasped Tae-rim’s hands that were holding his own.

“Hyung.”

“…Should I do the same to them?”

“…”

“Should I pay those bastards back the same way?”

He asked savagely, as if he had failed to suppress and swallow his anger. He was clenching his fist tightly and had a cold expression on his face, as if it wasn’t just empty words, but Ha-min wasn’t simply scared of this side of him. Rather, Ha-min shook his head worriedly. He felt it was a waste for Tae-rim to be so angry because of those worthless guys.

“Ha…”

He let out a deeper sigh than ever before and rested his forehead on his knee. Feeling his frustration at not being able to do anything, Ha-min unconsciously stroked his head. Very carefully. But after a moment, startled by the realization that he had touched him carelessly, he withdrew his hand. Tae-rim, who had been showing only the back of his head, suddenly pulled Ha-min’s hand back to his head.

“Keep doing it.”

“…”

“Otherwise, I feel like I might go find those bastards right now.”

There was no need for the basic question of how he would find them or who they were. It seemed like he could easily find out who they were with his resources. To help him as he seemed to be trying hard to suppress his rising anger, Ha-min carefully stroked his head again. His glossy, soft hair ran through Ha-min’s fingers.

Hyacinthus B
Author: Hyacinthus B

Hyacinthus

Sweet Shot

Sweet Shot

스윗 샷
Status: Completed Author: Released: 2023 Native Language: Korean
“It used to be soft and squishy, which was nice…” “……” “Why did you lose so much weight? It’s disappointing, hyung.” His drowsy, languid voice tickled the nape of my neck. Along with that, the warmth of his body against my back made my heart flutter. His words, spoken so tenderly, stirred something inside me while simultaneously sending a chill through my solar plexus. There’s no way it could be good. Something like a wobbling mass of flesh, a sight so repulsive just to look at, couldn’t possibly be good. Ha-min’s face noticeably fell at the playful, yet excessive comment. His slight, nervous movements came to a stop, as if he didn’t know what to do. “……” Sensing this, Tae-rim slowly opened his eyes. Beyond his previously closed vision, he could see Ha-min’s profile, quietly staring into space. It was a rare expression for Ha-min. Deeply sunken. Tae-rim, feeling something was off, furrowed his brow and once again tightly hugged Ha-min’s waist. Soon after, Ha-min’s tightly closed lips parted. His voice was quiet, almost crawling. “Because it doesn’t look good…” “…?” “When you’re fat, you smell… it’s dirty, so…” The last syllable trembled slightly. His voice, muttering as if self-harming, and his bitter tone were unnaturally dark. Clearly sensing something was wrong, Tae-rim tickled the back of Ha-min’s neck with the tip of his nose, like a puppy. With a rustle, Ha-min’s hair touched Tae-rim’s nose bridge, and he could feel Tae-rim’s skin nuzzling against him. “Don’t say such foolish things…” He whispered in Ha-min’s ear, comforting him. “I like everything about you, hyung.” Affectionately. “Even the smell of grass and milk that comes from you.” Sweetly. “…Ever since we were young.” With such unfair words.

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