Chapter 33
It still felt like a dream that I had slept with Joo Kwon-oh. That we drank together again today, and that he walked me to my studio apartment.
I took a shower to shake off the slightly tipsy feeling. After washing up and changing clothes, I lay on the bed and opened Instagram.
Did Joo Kwon-oh really not go back to the bar? Half-doubting, I checked the Instagram accounts of classmates we both follow.
Just then, Choi Kyung-won had uploaded an Instagram story. In the group photo taken at the bar, Joo Kwon-oh’s face wasn’t visible. Neither was mine, of course. Instead, the table seemed more crowded than before, with a few more classmates having joined.
Since I was already on Instagram, I also checked the profile of senior Sung-rok, who was tagged in the photo. He was the type to actively participate in official university events and competitions at Hanguk University. There were also a few photos of him at dinner with professors. He was truly a textbook example of a class representative.
Anyway, confirming that Joo Kwon-oh hadn’t returned to the after-party brought a sense of relief along with drowsiness.
Ah, I need to update my notes. I really wanted to draw the clothes I wore today…
My eyelids were too heavy to sit at the desk and pick up a pencil to draw now.
Instead of getting up, I closed my eyes and tried to vividly recall Joo Kwon-oh’s appearance today, to store it more concretely in the drawers of my memory.
‘I’ll walk you home.’
‘Jeong-ha.’
But his voice echoing in my ears shattered my concentration. Was it my imagination that his voice calling my name sounded particularly gentle?
Offering to walk me home, calling my name, taking my number, actions that seemed conscious of me. Were they all just delicate illusions created by my senses that liked him?
Or could it be that Joo Kwon-oh really…
*
I suddenly opened my eyes early in the morning. I couldn’t remember when or how I fell asleep last night.
Although it felt like I hadn’t slept much, the drowsiness quickly faded. Perhaps I slept deeply because of the alcohol.
I sat up, yawning widely. Then I remembered that just before falling asleep last night, I had planned to write down new information about Joo Kwon-oh in my notebook. Without much thought, I decided to do it right away.
Sitting at my desk to record Joo Kwon-oh first thing on a weekend morning – even I thought it seemed a bit obsessive and ridiculous.
I wondered if Joo Kwon-oh would still be kind to me if he knew about this side of me.
Anyway, I wanted to sketch Joo Kwon-oh’s appearance from yesterday. During art school preparations, some students would seriously draw hundreds of pictures of their favorite celebrities or characters. If you think of this as a kind of fandom activity, it’s not that strange.
I stared at the two notebooks I now had. One was the one Joo Kwon-oh had taken and returned, and the other was the new one I started after it was taken.
Wondering if I should combine the contents someday, I opened the notebook that had been taken, for the first time in a while.
[h1]
As I carefully looked through the previous drawings and notes, I suddenly felt embarrassed. Thinking that Joo Kwon-oh might have seen all of this made my ears burn.
How stupid of me to leave this in the lecture hall. I should have been more careful.
…Well, although it was embarrassing to have Joo Kwon-oh discover my notebook, in the end I slept with him, so maybe it turned out well.
Lost in these complex feelings, I turned the pages.
Then I discovered unfamiliar writing added below the last note I had written.
[hs1]
I was certain that up to number ten was my writing, but below that wasn’t my handwriting.
I was so shocked that for a moment I thought my heart had stopped.
Why… why is this written here?
Wondering if I had seen wrong, I brought the notebook right up to my nose to check, but the unfamiliar writing was still there, just as I had first seen it.
Moreover, in the corner of the notebook was a drawing of a human stick figure with just eyes, nose, and mouth, looking like a dried-up fish bone, with ‘Ryu Jeong-ha’ written below it.
“Ha.”
The stick figure’s eyes were large and bright, with an abnormally high nose. Anyway, since the body was like a fish bone, it looked quite funny.
Since I had never recorded such writing and drawing, it must have been drawn by Joo Kwon-oh. No other possibility came to mind.
[hs2]
I read the newly added eleventh item several times. Unlike my handwriting, the ends were sharp and pointy, making it stand out even more in the notebook.
‘Did you confess?’
‘Yeah.’
No way. Is the person who said they confessed yesterday… me?
For a while, I buried my head on the desk, wrestling with the notebook as if solving a difficult math problem. No, I was wrestling with the words Joo Kwon-oh had written.
And I tried to fit Joo Kwon-oh’s attitudes I had seen over the past few days into this situation like a puzzle.
“This… can’t be a dream, right?”
Muttering that, I closed my eyes tightly and opened them again, then immediately picked up my phone. I had just remembered Joo Kwon-oh’s number that we exchanged yesterday.
After staring at Joo Kwon-oh’s name saved in my contacts as if having a staring contest, I finally called him with determination. The tip of my thumb pressing the call button was faintly trembling.
“Hello, Jeong-ha.”
After a short while, Joo Kwon-oh answered with a husky voice.
The voice with a slightly cracked end made me realize that it was early on a weekend morning.
But I had no intention of ending the call now for such a trivial reason.
“Ryu Jeong-ha? Hello?”
“I saw it,” I blurted out, trying to suppress my excitement.
“Saw what?”
“What you wrote in the notebook…”
“Ah.”
“……”
“……”
A moment of silence passed. In that brief moment, I had the strange and useless worry that my heart might burst.
“You just saw it now?”
“Yes.”
“So. What’s your answer?”
“I…”
“No, nevermind. Let’s talk face to face. Not over the phone.”
Joo Kwon-oh hastily said. I was taken aback and at a loss for words.
“Um, what?”
“I’ll come to your place.”
“Now?”
“Yeah, now. Wait, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
As soon as the call ended, I unconsciously covered my mouth and stood up.
He’s coming here? Right now?
Even though I had called impulsively, I hadn’t expected such an immediate reaction.
What should I do now?
I fumbled around and put on some clothes. Then I washed my face. The order seemed reversed, but I didn’t have the luxury to worry about such trivial things now.
After quickly combing my hair, I put on socks and was about to go out when Joo Kwon-oh called again.
“Where are you? I’m in front of your place.”
“Already? How…?”
“I walked you home yesterday, remember?”
I meant how he got here so quickly. It felt like not even five minutes had passed.
“I’m coming out now.”
As soon as I answered, I rushed out the front door.
There was a mountain of things I needed to think about before meeting him, but now that Joo Kwon-oh said he was in front of my studio, my complicated mind turned blank.
“This is bad,” I muttered to myself.
Because I had no idea what to say or what expression to make!
Looking outside from the corridor, I could see Joo Kwon-oh standing there, tapping the ground with the toe of his shoe.
His hair was naturally windswept as if he had run here. I glanced at him catching his breath and fluttering his t-shirt as I skipped down the stairs two or three at a time.
Strangely, as I went down, useless thoughts that weren’t helpful to the current situation rolled around noisily in my head.
His voice clearly sounded like he had just woken up. Did he come out right after getting up? But how can he look so handsome like that?
I still couldn’t believe that Joo Kwon-oh had rushed to my place this morning to hear my answer.
“Hi.”
Joo Kwon-oh spotted me first and greeted me. He slightly wrinkled his nose bridge, then smoothed his expression and smiled faintly.
That small change in expression hit me especially hard today.
“…Hi,” I barely managed to greet him back in a barely audible voice.
