#72
“Ah, this is hilarious. I came out because they said it would be fun, and it really is fun.”
The short-haired girl who was laughing the loudest checked her watch. The three girls whispered among themselves, and suddenly all three stood up, grabbing their bags.
“Actually, we have another meeting scheduled after this, so we’ll be leaving first.”
“Take care~ If you know any more girls like you around, introduce them to us!”
“What? Wait…!”
They’re leaving just like that? Leaving us with these two?!
I hopelessly watched the backs of the departing girls, but they left without looking back even once.
…So this is what they call getting rejected.
I had heard about it countless times from Park Gyuhyeon, who claimed to have experienced it often, but actually experiencing it myself left me dumbfounded. It seemed even more so because I had come out with these two handsome guys.
Regardless, the two guys on either side didn’t seem to have any intention of getting up. Kim Minhwan was even slumped over the table, sobbing loudly.
“How could you do this to me when I’ve been taking care of you since the first day of the semester…! Waaah… Even when other friends asked me to eat with them, I said I had to eat with you, I, I did that… and you don’t even know…”
I thought he was just whining as usual, but it seemed he was genuinely hurt. He appeared to be more sensitive than I thought.
Then Kang Jihan tapped my thigh. Nam Seonwoo flinched in surprise and glared at him as if to ask what he was doing, but Kang Jihan pointed at Kim Minhwan. More precisely, at Kim Minhwan’s legs spread wide under the table.
“What do you want me to do about it?”
“It’s the inconsiderate behavior you hate.”
“When did I ever say such a thing…?”
‘It’s completely inconsiderate, you know. You should keep your legs together modestly whether there are people around or not.’
Ah, I did say that.
The situation in which I had said those words also came back to me vividly. That situation where I felt like I was going crazy every time Kang Jihan’s leg touched mine.
Nam Seonwoo pressed his lips together and tightly closed his legs, then Kang Jihan asked,
“Do you like him?”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
“He’s not your type, is he? That kind of guy.”
Looking at Kang Jihan who was openly pointing at Kim Minhwan, Nam Seonwoo was sure. Kang Jihan was drunk right now. His appearance, speaking without changing his expression, seemed the same as usual at first glance. But the following words solidified the certainty.
“He’s annoying, doesn’t understand what people say, stupid. Above all, he’s not even older than you.”
‘He’s drunk.’
It was one hundred percent certain, seeing how his unnecessary words were getting longer.
Kim Minhwan cried even louder, seemingly hurt by the words directed at him. Seeing Kang Jihan frown and turn his head away sharply, Nam Seonwoo could roughly guess how Kang Jihan felt about Kim Minhwan.
‘But what’s with asking if I like him…?’
Suddenly, the scene from the first drinking game came to mind. About an hour ago, Kim Minhwan and Nam Seonwoo, who were designated in the King’s Game, had to play the Pepero game. As Kim Minhwan was reaching for the bottle with the Pepero stick, Kang Jihan, who had been quiet all along, suddenly brought a water jug from far away. As the Pepero bottle hit that water jug, the Pepero sticks spilled onto the floor, and naturally, the penalty was changed.
“…”
Come to think of it, Kang Jihan seemed to be particularly conscious of Kim Minhwan. He didn’t pay attention when talking to the girls, but he only intervened at that moment.
It was ridiculous. It was absurd to have such a far-fetched delusion, but it was equally absurd to be so sure that he would naturally like men.
‘I just liked Kang Jihan, I’m not gay…’
Nam Seonwoo shook his head vigorously at the thought that flashed through his mind. Being among these out-of-their-minds people seemed to be making him weird too. With no one left on the opposite side, he pushed the table forward and stood up.
“Go home on your own. I’m leaving.”
Intending to leave no matter what they said, Nam Seonwoo left the place without even listening to their response.
As he went down the stairs, there was a small space connected to the parking lot at the back. It was particularly dark, probably because the streetlight right next to it was out. Instead of heading straight home, Nam Seonwoo moved towards that spot. Soon after, footsteps were heard, and Kang Jihan could be seen coming down the stairs.
As expected. I thought he would follow.
Nam Seonwoo held his breath as he watched Kang Jihan looking around. He hoped Kang Jihan would just go home, but suddenly Kang Jihan turned his head in this direction. Even knowing he wouldn’t be seen, Nam Seonwoo felt like he couldn’t breathe, as if Kang Jihan had spotted him.
Kang Jihan walked slowly. Nam Seonwoo wondered if he had actually been seen, but as the distance closed, Kang Jihan’s face was gradually engulfed in darkness, showing how pitch-black the surroundings were.
His heart was beating fast. In the darkness where he couldn’t tell what was happening, Nam Seonwoo suddenly caught a familiar scent.
Kang Jihan’s smell. The moment he sensed it close by, a familiar voice was heard.
“What are you doing here?”
It was so dark that he had lost all sense of direction, but all his senses except sight were telling him. That Kang Jihan was standing right in front of him now.
“…”
What am I doing, I was hiding from you. It was too embarrassing to say that, so Nam Seonwoo quickly racked his brain. He couldn’t make the excuse that he was trying to sober up before going home. After all, thanks to someone, he hadn’t been able to drink even a sip of alcohol.
Just then, he stepped on something on the ground. The moment he thought it might be a cigarette butt, Nam Seonwoo answered brazenly.
“…I was going to smoke a cigarette.”
Somehow, stupid lies were piling up. It seemed like his usually well-functioning brain kept getting dumb in front of Kang Jihan.
“You smoke?”
“Well. You smoke too, don’t you?”
Responding nonchalantly to the voice that sounded surprised, Kang Jihan immediately refuted.
“I told you I don’t smoke.”
For some reason, Kang Jihan seemed quite upset right now. Of course, he might have said he didn’t smoke when he paid for the lighter in the lecture hall. But Nam Seonwoo thought it was just nonsense to change the subject.
As far as Nam Seonwoo knew, Kang Jihan had been a smoker since high school. Even two years ago, when his mother first collapsed, the image of him naturally putting a cigarette in his mouth after coming out of the hospital was vivid. Even just a few days ago when he borrowed the lighter.
‘But he really doesn’t smoke?’
As if the suspicious gaze was conveyed even in the darkness, Kang Jihan added.
“I quit. The summer before last.”
The summer before last would be two years ago. Nam Seonwoo tilted his head. He had handed him a cigarette that summer, but he had quit?
“Because you said you hate the smell of cigarettes.”
The calm response made something feel like it was sinking. Even though he had been acting subtly even at the drinking party, Nam Seonwoo hadn’t expected him to speak so directly like this. So he asked.
“…What are you trying to do, since earlier?”
From the day they reunited, Kang Jihan had been acting strangely, yet on days when they didn’t have overlapping classes, he was nowhere to be seen. Nam Seonwoo couldn’t figure him out.
“When did you come back to Korea?”
But regardless, Kang Jihan poured out what he wanted to say.
“Did you study alone? I didn’t see you at any academies.”
Surely he didn’t go around to all the retake academies, right? An absurd assumption flashed through his mind.
Nam Seonwoo didn’t answer. But as if it didn’t matter whether he answered or not, Kang Jihan asked directly.
“Who’s this person you’re seeing?”
“…”
“It’s not Kim Minhwan. You need to know someone longer before you let them get close.”
Kang Jihan, drunk, voiced thoughts that should have remained internal. As his words got longer, the meaning behind what he was saying became clearer.
“Did you meet someone while retaking the exam?”
It was only a year. A year that was barely enough to spend each day studying for the college entrance exam and trying to erase Kang Jihan. As if he had thought countless times about that short period, Kang Jihan’s voice trembled slightly at the end.
“Or are you getting back together with the person you said you dated before?”
Kang Jihan, interrogating about the existence of a non-existent lover. Kang Jihan, who said he quit smoking because of him. Looking at him, Nam Seonwoo recalled his foolish thought from not long ago. It was just a few days ago that he felt Kang Jihan had changed a bit, that he felt unfamiliar.
‘…What has changed?’
Kang Jihan was the same. He was standing right here, the same honest and straightforward nineteen-year-old self.
“Answer me. Who is it?”
“Why should I?”
Feeling like he was about to face another fact besides Kang Jihan not having changed, Nam Seonwoo retorted with a sharp voice.
“Why should I tell you that?”
Kang Jihan seemed about to say something, but Nam Seonwoo quickly spoke.
“Don’t tell me you’re acting like this just because we slept together once?”
It was a clear statement pointing out that whatever it was, it was already over. It also meant that the only remaining connection was just that one night, and he wasn’t attaching much significance to it.
Whether he understood the meaning accurately or not, Kang Jihan closed his mouth. His eyes, now accustomed to the darkness, could vaguely make out Kang Jihan’s silhouette, but fortunately, his expression wasn’t visible.
“And if you want to talk, do it when you’re sober.”
Meaning he wouldn’t talk anymore with a drunk person, Nam Seonwoo passed by Kang Jihan. But at that moment, a sound like tearing through the air pierced his ears.
Just now, what…
A ripping sound was heard again behind his stiffened back. The sound, louder than before, sounded like skin tearing, making Nam Seonwoo turn around sharply.
He could see the outline of Kang Jihan’s back. The moment he saw Kang Jihan raising his arm high and slapping his own cheek once more, his shoulders involuntarily flinched.
“You… you just…”
“I’m sober now.”
Kang Jihan said as he turned around.
“Let’s talk now.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
Oh dear 🙂