#129
The all-too-familiar hand gently grasped Eunseok’s genitals. Then it started to stroke, as if trying to arouse him. Though this man was clearly Choi Hanseo, it felt like being forcibly handled by a complete stranger.
“I’ll make you feel good, okay?” Choi Hanseo coaxed. It was evident he was just trying to coax Eunseok for the sake of receiving guiding smoothly. Eunseok felt a shame he hadn’t experienced even when being violated by Park Sunwoo. What Park Sunwoo did was one-sided exploitation, torture. But this… was different.
His pants were stripped off. Choi Hanseo, seeming truly impatient, squeezed a lot of gel onto his hand and smeared it thickly between Eunseok’s legs. Eunseok looked at the large emergency button next to the guiding room bed. If he pressed that, guards would rush in immediately. They wouldn’t have the power to restrain Choi Hanseo, but at least they could stop this act. However…
Eunseok could glimpse the pain and desperation flashing occasionally in Choi Hanseo’s eyes as he acted urgently. Though pretending to be relaxed, he must actually be in great pain. Regardless of his own feelings, Eunseok couldn’t just watch Choi Hanseo be driven to the risk of going berserk. Although he wasn’t himself at this moment, he was still Choi Hanseo. In the end, Eunseok tightly shut his eyes.
***
“Thank you, Guide Lee Eunseok. You saved me,” Choi Hanseo said kindly as he covered Eunseok’s body, sticky with semen, with a blanket. Eunseok kept his eyes closed until Choi Hanseo’s presence had completely disappeared from the guiding room.
Finally, the guiding room door closed, and he was left alone. Only then did Eunseok slowly open his eyes and stare blankly at the empty guiding room.
Sex solely for the purpose of receiving guiding.
No, this couldn’t be called sex. It was merely insertion guiding.
Only after being subjected to Choi Hanseo for hours today did Eunseok realize that their previous acts had been completely focused on sex rather than guiding. In contrast, the act just now was strictly a series of procedures for the sake of guiding.
After lying dazed for a long time, Eunseok slowly raised his body from the bed. Despite not responding at all, his body, familiar to Choi Hanseo, had climaxed several times. Eunseok felt more ashamed of his own semen wetting his stomach and chest than Choi Hanseo’s semen flowing out from behind.
Eunseok entered the bathroom and mechanically washed his body. He never thought he’d have to shower in the guiding room, but it seemed life was full of surprises.
After showering and putting his stripped clothes back on, Eunseok hesitated for a moment. Come to think of it, he had nowhere to go. The penthouse… there was no way he could go back there, nor did he have the confidence to. Moreover, his own quarters had been completely removed.
After standing in place for a long time, Eunseok finally walked to the sofa and slumped down. His phone, laptop, everything was in the penthouse. He felt completely isolated.
How long had he been sitting like that? The doorbell rang.
Eunseok slowly got up and opened the guiding room door.
“Guide Lee,” Secretary Lee Eunju was standing beyond the door. She looked like she had a lot to say.
“…Come in,” Eunseok hesitated for a moment before letting her in.
Her gaze, heading towards the sofa, briefly swept over the messy bed. She pretended not to have noticed the state of the bed and sat down naturally on the sofa. Eunseok, also pretending not to notice that she had noticed, placed a bottle of water he took from the refrigerator in front of her.
“I didn’t have time to explain the situation earlier, so I’ve come now,” Secretary Lee said in the most calm and businesslike face and tone she could manage.
“Go ahead.”
To Eunseok, only the fact that Choi Hanseo had lost his memory was important, so he didn’t really want to hear Secretary Lee’s detailed explanation. But since she looked like she really wanted to speak, he quietly waited for her to start.
“Although the investigation results aren’t certain yet, there was a radio message about a mechanical malfunction before the explosion. It’s presumed that it didn’t explode due to external factors. Unfortunately, everyone except the Guild Master is presumed dead.”
“I see,” Eunseok responded calmly.
Choi Hanseo survived because he was an S-class hunter; if he had been an ordinary person, it would have been difficult to even find his remains.
“Since he received treatment from an A-class healing hunter, all physical injuries should be healed. However, the loss of memory seems to be a side effect of the impact to the brain, according to the doctor’s opinion. The doctor said in such cases, memories could suddenly return tomorrow, or they might never return. But given the Guild Master’s amazing recovery abilities, I think his memories will probably return soon.”
“I see.”
“We’ve confirmed that he’s lost about 2 years of memories. That’s why he doesn’t remember you, Guide Lee.”
“I see.”
As Eunseok kept responding briefly, Secretary Lee carefully continued her next words.
“They say staying in a familiar environment and among familiar people helps memories return. So…”
Secretary Lee couldn’t finish her sentence.
“Please reassign me the quarters I had before. Also, please move all my belongings from the penthouse to those quarters. I don’t want to go in there right now.”
“…Ah…” Secretary Lee made a troubled expression. After hesitating for a moment, she spoke.
“I know you must be upset and confused right now, but when his memories return soon…”
“We’ll think about that after his memories return. For now, it’s better if we stay apart.”
When Eunseok cut her off, Secretary Lee didn’t try to persuade him further.
“I understand. I’ll take care of it right away. The quarters you used before happen to be vacant, so you should be able to access them in about 20 minutes. I’ll make sure all your belongings are moved there as well.”
“Thank you.”
Secretary Lee seemed to want to say something more, but finally stood up. Eunseok quietly saw her out.
Returning to sit on the sofa, Eunseok stared at the clock, waiting for the 20 minutes Secretary Lee mentioned to pass. He just wanted to get out of this guiding room as soon as possible.
Finally, when 15 minutes had passed, Eunseok couldn’t wait any longer and left the guiding room. He went to his old quarters and swiped his card on the pad, and the door opened. Eunseok stepped inside, feeling as if he had finally found a refuge.
Not long after arriving at his quarters, all his belongings from the penthouse were moved in. Eunseok tried to clear his mind by neatly organizing his things in the quarters. While he was organizing, the doorbell rang. Though he didn’t feel like seeing anyone, Eunseok forced himself to move and open the door.
“Eunseok.”
“Eunseok oppa.”
The visitors were Moon Bora and Kwon Eunchae. They were looking at Eunseok with worried eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“Are you alright?”
They asked simultaneously. Eunseok nodded and gestured for them to come in, opening the door wide.
Moon Bora and Kwon Eunchae surveyed the room, which was in the midst of unpacking.
“Please, sit down,” Eunseok offered seats at the dining table. The two carefully sat down at the table, looking cautious. Eunseok sat opposite the two who were seated side by side.
“I heard the Guild Master lost his memories. That he doesn’t remember you either…” Moon Bora spoke with difficulty.
“How can he not remember Eunseok oppa? The Guild Master is really too much. Hey, Bora unni, why don’t you try hitting the Guild Master’s head hard once? A shock might bring his memories back,” Kwon Eunchae made a punching gesture in the air. Eunseok couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.
“Still, at least he’s back safe and sound… His memories will probably come back gradually. The important thing is that he’s alive,” Moon Bora comforted. There was nothing wrong with her words. Eunseok nodded as if he understood.
The two seemed reluctant to leave Eunseok alone, stalling for time with various conversations and showing no signs of leaving. Eunseok finally managed to send them away, citing that he had to wake up early tomorrow.
Left alone again, Eunseok looked down at the twinkling night streets for a while, then took out his phone from his pocket. He spent a long time looking through the saved photos one by one.
In the photos, the two were passionately kissing with the Las Vegas fountain in the background. They were standing close together, having an intimate conversation, and gazing at each other quietly.
Looking at the photos, the confession he heard that day vividly brushed past his ears.
‘I like you, Lee Eunseok-ssi.’
‘I like you, Eunseok-ah.’
Suddenly feeling pathetic for clinging to past photos, Eunseok put his phone back in his pocket. He went into the bedroom and climbed onto the bed.
He tossed and turned for a long time with his head on the pillow, but sleep wouldn’t come. Unlike Choi Hanseo’s arm that he always used as a pillow, the white pillow was too soft. Without Choi Hanseo’s body heat and touch warming his back, the temperature felt unnecessarily cool.
Suddenly, a deep sense of solitude and loneliness pierced him. For the first time since losing his family, he experienced a profound sense of loss that made his chest feel tight. Not wanting to experience such loss again, he had deliberately kept people outside a certain boundary. He had maintained an appropriate distance from everyone. But Choi Hanseo had squeezed his way into Eunseok.
Accepting Choi Hanseo was mainly because he had grown to like him. But it was also because Choi Hanseo was strong enough not to die from anything or anyone. There was no need to worry about losing him or experiencing loss like he had with his family.
However, that was a miscalculation. In the end, Eunseok had lost Choi Hanseo. And so he felt so resentful towards him. So resentful that… he wanted to kill him. At least then he would be able to mourn him.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
